My new book came back from the proofreader with a comment added to the sentence below where I had alluded to my conversion. She asked and insisted that the allusion was not enough; I had to tell the story of my search and conversion because it might interest the reader. So I told the story below, which is taken from my new book. Great God based on Psalm 111. It is an excerpt from the chapter on the truthfulness of God.
Start of the excerpt
Truth has always been of paramount importance to me, and it is the means by which I came to both. The question of the absoluteness of truth and what that truth consists of literally consumed me. I wished there were a multiplicity of worldviews, positions, and possibilities, each equally valid. But it seemed obvious to me that if truth were to exist, by its very nature it would be absolute. I feared neither death, nor hell, nor eternal condemnation, nor misery in life. Nor did I seek emotional or physical help. I simply wanted to know the truth.
I didn't fear death, hell, eternal condemnation, or misery in life. Nor did I seek emotional or physical help. I just wanted to know the truth. Share on XAnd this search for truth led me to examine different propositions of truth, including Christ's claims about Himself. I was seeking the answer to a simple question: "Which of these is the truth?" And by God's mercy the conviction of Jesus as the only truth was powerfully communicated to my heart. This conviction has conditioned and determined my choices and my worldview ever since.
Actually, it all started quite innocently with a simple question in my heart. The thought was this: If God exists, it would be really stupid not to know Him, and other meditations of this kind. I decided to go through the rite of 'confirmation' in the Anglican Church, certain that it would allow me to know more about Jesus. I did indeed go through confirmation, but at the end, I was no further along in my search. I was no more of a believer than before.
The questions and searching continued for several years. Christians, of course, took every opportunity to preach the gospel to me. It was a time when you could hardly meet a born-again Christian without them trying to convert you. But I was extremely resistant, deeply skeptical of Christianity, and fundamentally contemptuous of Pentecostalism. As for the traditional church I grew up in, they had zero credibility when it came to me.
But the ardent cry for knowledge continued. I studied different propositions of truth and different worldviews. The inherent conflicts between them were such that I could not in all intellectual honesty embrace them all or pretend that it didn't matter. This cry for knowledge of the truth remained, and a few years later, it drove me to read the New Testament. I offered a little prayer without reverence to God. In reality, it can hardly be called a prayer.
I just asked that, if He was there, that He would reveal Himself, and if this Jesus was as the Bible described Him, that He would allow me to see Him clearly. So I read the New Testament. Somewhere along the way, my eyes were opened to the truth. And the reality and truthfulness of Jesus were established within me. I believed, period. Like Peter, it was not flesh and blood that had revealed this to me, but the Spirit of God. An oh-so-deep conviction of the divinity of Christ settled within me. I knew what I had to do. I knelt beside my bed, gave my life to Jesus, and committed myself to follow Him. Then I continued reading, always keeping well away from organized Christianity.
I believed, period. Like Peter, it was neither flesh nor blood that revealed this to me, but the Spirit of God. A profound conviction of the divinity of Christ settled within me. Share on XI devoured the Scriptures, I was insatiable, and Jesus became very real to me. I knew I had met God, and my life was transformed. But I had questions, many questions. Yes, Jesus was indeed the way, but then what about... many questions. Then there are questions of lifestyle, of outlook on life. Jesus seemed to want to control my life and oppose the things that had previously seemed so important to me.
But, little by little, the Holy Spirit gave me understanding and clarity, and the mental strongholds were gradually dismantled. Here's the short version. There are so many tributaries to this river, both before and after my conversion, many more than I can recount here. I remain eternally grateful for the work of the Holy Spirit in revealing the Son in my heart.
So whenever we talk about God's truth, the truthfulness of His work and His Word, it always evokes these memories of this search for truth. How joyful that the Holy Spirit has helped me navigate this season and given me a solid conviction regarding the truthfulness of the Scriptures and God's revelation in Christ. The Christian must fully embrace God's Word and ways as truth. Otherwise, he can easily get lost in the multiplicity of spiritual propositions presented to us today. God's truth is independent of human opinion and is a function of His omniscience and omnipotence. It is not always acceptable to man either.
God's truth is independent of human opinion. Article: How I sought the truth and met Jesus. Share on XEnd of excerpt.
A Christian leader once told me that sometimes you wonder if all this is really true. I was much younger in the faith at the time, and I admit that these words shocked me. Perhaps this was because my search for the truth had been so intentional and prolonged, relatively speaking, that my convictions were deeply rooted. Over the years, I have gained compassion and understand that life's circumstances can destabilize and introduce doubt.
Fortunately, the Holy Spirit has enabled me not only to maintain, but also to strengthen the convictions of my early faith. Deep and continuous communion with the Holy Spirit and diligent meditation on the Word of God establish an anchor in the soul. How much we need this today, for we live in perilous times, both morally and spiritually!
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