Love Deficit – The Cure

There is a powerful weapon in the mouths of the sheep, wielded with dexterity and delight by some: the accusation that there is no love in their church. Some unfortunate pastors live in an emotional whirlwind and never stop feeling guilty at any mention, oh the horror, of a lack of love.

Mary Rearick Paul, pastor and theologian, explains in a fascinating article on service evangelism that in every church she has pastored, there were always people who complained of feeling isolated, unloved, or unappreciated.

Indeed, one of the greatest needs of the individual is love, and when someone comes to a church community, they instinctively seek not only Jesus but also love and acceptance, and they should find them there. Our churches should function as true communities of love.

But is the church always at fault whenever someone doesn't feel loved or appreciated? I think not. According to Mary Rearick Paul, "Those who struggle to feel loved and accepted will find themselves more connected by engaging in service for the good of others. Not only do they stop focusing exclusively on their own needs, they also form close bonds with those with whom they serve."

In other words, it's not about demanding love, but about giving and serving. When someone GOES and does something for someone else, when they give, serve, and help, they become less preoccupied with their own lives and are able to develop intimate relationships. In doing so, they cease to be isolated; they will love and feel loved. I believe Jesus said it this way: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'

Furthermore, it must be recognized that some of these persistent cries for love are simply a reflection of personal problems that people do not wish to address, choosing to shift the responsibility for their unhappiness onto the church. Pressure is put on leaders who, with a dramatic wave of their Holy Spirit wand and as evidence of their calling and anointing, must, in the blink of an eye, erase years of dysfunctional behavior without the discipline of obedience and diligence in prayer and study of God's Word.

But unwittingly, leaders and churches can find themselves devoting so much energy to making their less cooperative members feel happy and loved that they forget their true mission, which is to bring the gospel to those outside the church (those who, at least according to the gospel, are in far worse shape than anyone inside the church who truly belongs to Christ). The church thus becomes a club focused exclusively on the endless needs of its members.

You are Christians, which means you have been empowered by the Holy Spirit to become and to do; you no longer have to live in passive dependence on someone else to make your life easier, 'feed me,' 'wash me,' 'warm me'... You and I have been given this ability to be full participants in this human adventure, to be bearers of love, bearers of hope, and bearers of life. But first we must renounce self-adoration, stop playing the role of the star, turn the spotlight on someone else and make them the star and the hero of this story. And then we will know love. Our Father will see to it.