This morning I found myself saying to God in prayer, 'Lord, I have no reason to complain, I find You blameless.' For some, such words are presumptuous; for others, they are healing. Let's face it, we often, too often, consciously or unconsciously find ourselves finding fault with God, finding that He hasn't done well enough. Life presents us with situations that surreptitiously point the finger at God, that plunge us into an emotional pit and the greatest theological perplexity. So, when I heard myself say these things, I was understandably elated; at last, my child, you are growing up. Yes, I celebrate God. He has done nothing wrong to me. This makes me very happy. I am happy that He has not done me any harm, but I am even more happy that I am aware of it.
So everything would have become perfect in the Bola universe? Period; but God is perfect, and so are His actions toward me. At last count, there is much to improve in my current sphere of life. In other words, I have a long list of things I would like to change, and like any pastor, or perhaps any human being, of people I would like to see change. I also have a long list of circumstances I would like to see change, but God is in no way responsible for these shortcomings. Yet our limited understanding of the complex interplay between the fallen world and its inherent evil, divine sovereignty, and human free will, leads us to hold God responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Even we who cheerfully sing 'God is good' every Sunday sometimes harbor secret grudges against God because we feel that after all He is God, He can do anything, and here is one thing He hasn't done for me, it's not fair. Sometimes it is also that because of our privileged relationship with Him we can have greater expectations, which if frustrated make us lose some of our passion and zeal, and we become less sure of truths that we had previously espoused. The culprits, a certain theological deficiency, a certain obsession with oneself coupled with the desire at all costs to avoid all suffering, and also a certain incapacity of man to perceive spiritual reality, not to mention rebellion.
I don't have all the answers yet; there are things I know, there are things I'm thinking about, and I accept that I don't know. What I do know, however, is that things are not always as they seem, that my choices have a lot to do with the circumstances I find myself in, that evil is real, and so is demonic opposition, that broken people don't need orders from God to harm others, that God often pulls me out of trouble in unexpected and spectacular ways, that not everything my flesh desires will be given to me, and that sacrifice and self-denial are just as fundamental to faith as blessing and prosperity.
But, above all, I know this, that God is good, totally and completely good; that God is light and in Him there is no darkness, according to the Scriptures; that I am loved, precious, but not spoiled and rotten. I know, like the venerable Polycarp, who, threatened with martyrdom, refused to deny Jesus and declare 'Caesar is Lord' that 'for …………… years I served Him and He never did me any harm'. So no matter what happens or might happen, no matter 'who' happens or might happen, I know one thing, God is not at fault. Concerning Him I have no reason to complain, for I know this, 'He never did me any harm'.
Shalom!
